oh new contests?

Well for as many as i won over the holidays you would have thought i would have stayed on top of intering contests LOL but i even dropped away from those… well now im back to trolling the blogs so watch out! My find atm is this

Have you got an MP3 player yet?

Or maybe a more fitting question for your family is, how many MP3 players do you have in your household?

Best buy and 5 minutes for mom are hosting this give away.. and WHO DOES NOT need one of those!!

go visit them and check it out.

…because i was moved to …

I want to not be afraid to do what you ask

I want to not be embarrassed of my admiration for you.

I would not be worried to show my ow for my husband , or a hero in front of others?.. I would think how could you not? And so what if you don’t I still respect , love admire this person .. You don’t have to..

But its not about that is it, its about SHOWING the gods love to others.. Living in gods way to show them god in yourself… so that your kindness and friendship may open up a spot in THEM so that they are open again to god. Its not about turning are back on those that don’t believe or discounting them.. It is about showing gods love and compation to everyone.. Living the life that god is laying out for you and sharing all of his warmth and comfort and forgiveness to each person we pass. The young when they cry, The old when they are in pain and need your hand to help them.. The cold when you can sacrifice a scarf or even your jaket straight from your back… a smile.. A hello… to shine with the love that you have for the lord .. To not throw a blanket over it because you worry what they will see or say.. To live with gods love is to throw open the doors to the world and say HERE I AM! Every action and word filled with light and laughter! Never scorn or judgment! … We should not strick out or hurt are brothers and sisters.. We should reach out and pick them up.. You do not know were they are on there path or in there life.. How can you look at them and think you know them? We must love them as god loves us.. Regardless of were are past lead us .. In the end it lead us to him did it not? And maybe you reaching out your hand will start there path to him also.

We may never know who we have touch or were it leads them.. But you know were it leads you.

I want not to be embarrassed to show the light god has in my heart. I want not to worry about the whispers or looks.. I want the courage to show them gods love threw me… lord I pray you help me find it in my self to step out of my self and into you.

BRRRRRR

Ok so i get to go shopping tonight… again.. like ever week lol ever fill like you live in a hampster wheel seeing the same thing all the time..running and never really getting any were ? ok well so that is my fault there is no reason that i can not unhook this wheel and let it roll free… except for my own fear of were it will go , what i will see, what i will have to face.. or do .. or.. just not wanting to leave then nice warm butt endent in my chair!

lol so that was not were i thought i was going…

It snowed here for all of … 5 sec? the kids freeked.. then it passed and now they are stacking scrable pieces into castles I am getting dressed for my little trip into the “real” world.. I think i will go to church also this sunday. I have not gone since this funk hit me like ..well right after thanksgiving so it is dew time to go back.. i fill to pull again.

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have you ever had a moment were you stopped and said ” AHA! I SEE YOU GOD!! ” ? i had one of those the other day. I have been reading this book ” what happens when women say yes to god” by, lysa terkeurst…. its about opening up and just saying yes to what ever he whispers for you to do.. don’t fight him, don’t ask him why just.. say yes.. I have been trying to do this.. I…. well i am comeing out of my frump :0 ) and am listening again. I woke up the other morning and prayed and told him that i say yes before i know what he needs of me but aslo for the strength to follow threw with what is asked of me… and to help me see him. I think that is a common one isnt it? let me see you? I don’t know but i try not to ask offten because it seems.. rude some how.

Well any way, that day wial cleaning i pulled my beat up old “last ditch” radio out and turned it on. I use to listen to 1190 kex for the talk radio on it.. well ok still do but months ago i keep tring to get the one christion rock station in my area here but could never pick it up! never! i can get a am talk christian station but not my fm one. So i turn it on and start doing the dishes and emily is up helping me and… i relize the music playing is religion.. hmm why are they playing this on this station i wonder.. then they announce the station and i just froze. It was a moment of.. oh wow god there you are. right here in my kitchen changing my radio station? Its a rare moment that if you were not listening you would try to explain it away and let it go. Not i tho, not this day… i asked him to show me! and here it was.. a station that for months never came in on this radio was playing his prays! I still get chocked up on it.. God showed he was listening to me that day and that he cares to show me when i needed it. My god is here with me…..

I pray that you see your god, that you tell him you are open to him and say yes before you know what you say yes too.

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again.. not the post i had planned but.. i think it will do nicely

Well ..

Ok so.. its been a long long time! I’m sorry to the ppl that were enjoying reading my rants LOL i know my sister in law is getting on me about this. I think i just had a brief hibernation period. And with having World of War craft back on it has been easier to … hide.

Well i FINALLY got my moms x mass present in the mail . omg it only took forever. i got her a small gem frog figure. Now.. to mail it!

My 10 yr old has been pushing every button and braking every rule. I have been raking my brain on why it has gotten worse all the sudden that last couple of weeks. My mom and i are thinking part of it is filling left out and like he dos not really have a place. My husband and him do not have much of a relationship ..sigh.. but him and his father do so that is good, but with 2 baby’s and taking care of everyone and everything.. poor keith has gotten pushed to the bottom of my list. He can feed himself and pick up after him self and it was .. to easy to push him aside. I did not mean to but now we are in a pickle. He gets angry at the baby’s because they still get away with so much more then him and he dose not.

So after talking to mom three weeks ago we came to the idea that one, he needs at least an hr a day that i can keep the kids off him to do his paper airplanes or draw or w/e ( he prefers the computer .. lol ) and one day a week that is his time with him. At the moment the only real way for that to happen was to switch my shopping day to a week day and have him come with me. It has… a couple of benefits i think. one it is just us and that is good, two he is seeing just how much food and money it takes to feed this house! he was amazed. then he started tyring to find ways to make it cheaper lol. that was funny.

but then he spend a week with his dad and came home and would not listen, broke i swear every rule! and yelling at him, taking his privileges… just was not phasing him at all. I caught him 3 days into the punishment with the tv on and the volume down and sitting in front of the bedroom door…. WTH!? i was so mad. I realized as i pulled the dish box out of the room that talking to him dose nothing… and he now had nothing alse to lose…. so as i was doing laundry i had him come into the hall and start doing jumping jacks…. he did not like this. HA! i found something he actually OBJECTED TO!

So now when he makes me raise my voice i stop and make him jump ohhhh how he fights it.. YOU SOOOOO MEAN! WHY YOU SO MEAN!! lol sorry as a mom it is hard to give him something he truly hates but DAMN IT something has to hit home with him. something that he hates so much that he will stop doing this stuff.Even if he is acting out to get attention he still cant do this. I have tyred to actually talk to him many times about what he is looking for or wants or attention .. i try guilt! yelling! blah but them military school popped in my head… I thought god i do not want to face a 13 yr old that dose not listen to anything and skips school and gets into trouble.

Well if anything i am getting a …moderately cleaner house out of it lol. last two days i have made him clean from after dinner to bath / bed time. bathroom floor ( which he has to redo.. hes not very good at cleaning lol ) kitchen ..walls.. crayon marks! haha stuff i did not want to do anyway. But each night he comes and helps pre dinner and get it cooking. he enjoys the helping.

Well for now that’s it. ill work on getting back to regular lol here for AT LEAST YOU MICHELLE! hahaha.